I come from turtle country, along the Mississippi River. We had Snapping Turtles and Softshell Turtles, Sliders and Cooters, Map Turtles and Painted Turtles, Stinkpots and Musk Turtles, and as anyone who ever pulled a harrow over sandy Midwest ground knows, Box Turtles (I love Box Turtles, but they are not table fare; maybe some stories later though).
I used to run traps and trot lines especially for turtles. Most of the meat I sold to the local “clubs”, i.e. Elks, Eagles, the Moose Lodge, American Legion….some bars too. Smelt was the preferred bait, taken in April from Lake Michigan by dip netting, and then frozen whole in 25 lb bags. Nothing is slimier or oilier than smelt and nothing comes close to catching turtles like smelt does.
They say turtle has 7 different colors of meat (I always counted 6, and loved to argue the fact, a beer in one hand and a bloody hatchet in the other, all the while whacking on a 20lb Spiny Softshell nailed to a tree, cigarette ashes running down my chest). The tenderloins under the backbone are clear and cook up as white as the driven snow. Then each muscle group gets darker as you go towards the dark meat of the ankles and feet.
I would get 12 to 15 turtles, worth keeping, on a normal night. Usually half were Snappers and half were Softshells. 15 turtles are all anyone wants to clean at one time. Here’s why:
How to Butcher a Turtle:
• Store turtles in damp potato sacks in a shady spot away from children. Tie each sack to a combine or corn picker.
• Wearing gloves remove (angry) turtle from sack and aggravate it with a broomstick until he bites down on it.
• Stretch the turtle’s neck out and chop his head off with a hatchet or corn knife.
• Take the hatchet and beat the severed head off the stick into a bucket. Put a lid on the bucket and keep it away from children………and people who drank a lot of beer.
• Put the (still angry) turtle back in the ‘toe sack'.
24 hours later:
• Do not attempt to put your hand in bucket of severed heads.
• Wearing gloves, take the (hopefully calm) headless turtle out of the sack.
• With a pair of catfish skinning pliers try to pull the turtle’s front leg out. If you can’t straighten the legs out without getting clawed to pieces, just go to bed and try it in the morning.
• Still wearing gloves, stretch the legs out and cut off all the claws.
• With three 20-penny nails nail the turtle to a tree, tail down and the plastron (bottom shell) facing you. Nail around the neck first, then around each thigh.
• Cut around the plastron with a sharp knife.
• Cut the belly and rib meat from the plastron and discard the shell….ah give it to the kids, keep ‘em busy and out of the bucket.
• Still wearing gloves, cut around the skin from the carapace (top shell), starting at the neck.
• With skinning pliers and a sharp knife skin the turtle from top to bottom.
• Cut the tail off just behind the bung hole.
• With a sharp knife separate the meat from the shell.
• With a box knife cut the cartilage that holds the backbone to the carapace. Keep the kids out of the bucket.
• Remove the entrails and eggs and discard in the bucket. (If the baby turtles in the eggs are alive, and for some reason you have to take them out of the shells, do not put your finger close to their mouths).
• Cut the meat up by muscle groups (or color).
• Remove as much fat as possible.
Parboil Before Freezing:
• In a large pot of water add salt, peppercorns, onions and carrots, Bring to a boil.
• Simmer until the fat melts off and meat is starting to fall off the bones on the feet.
• Drain and rinse in hot water.
Note:
• If you see the neighbor’s dog running around yelping with a Snapping Turtle head embedded on his bloody nose, you didn’t bury the stuff deep enough.
I used to run traps and trot lines especially for turtles. Most of the meat I sold to the local “clubs”, i.e. Elks, Eagles, the Moose Lodge, American Legion….some bars too. Smelt was the preferred bait, taken in April from Lake Michigan by dip netting, and then frozen whole in 25 lb bags. Nothing is slimier or oilier than smelt and nothing comes close to catching turtles like smelt does.
They say turtle has 7 different colors of meat (I always counted 6, and loved to argue the fact, a beer in one hand and a bloody hatchet in the other, all the while whacking on a 20lb Spiny Softshell nailed to a tree, cigarette ashes running down my chest). The tenderloins under the backbone are clear and cook up as white as the driven snow. Then each muscle group gets darker as you go towards the dark meat of the ankles and feet.
I would get 12 to 15 turtles, worth keeping, on a normal night. Usually half were Snappers and half were Softshells. 15 turtles are all anyone wants to clean at one time. Here’s why:
How to Butcher a Turtle:
• Store turtles in damp potato sacks in a shady spot away from children. Tie each sack to a combine or corn picker.
• Wearing gloves remove (angry) turtle from sack and aggravate it with a broomstick until he bites down on it.
• Stretch the turtle’s neck out and chop his head off with a hatchet or corn knife.
• Take the hatchet and beat the severed head off the stick into a bucket. Put a lid on the bucket and keep it away from children………and people who drank a lot of beer.
• Put the (still angry) turtle back in the ‘toe sack'.
24 hours later:
• Do not attempt to put your hand in bucket of severed heads.
• Wearing gloves, take the (hopefully calm) headless turtle out of the sack.
• With a pair of catfish skinning pliers try to pull the turtle’s front leg out. If you can’t straighten the legs out without getting clawed to pieces, just go to bed and try it in the morning.
• Still wearing gloves, stretch the legs out and cut off all the claws.
• With three 20-penny nails nail the turtle to a tree, tail down and the plastron (bottom shell) facing you. Nail around the neck first, then around each thigh.
• Cut around the plastron with a sharp knife.
• Cut the belly and rib meat from the plastron and discard the shell….ah give it to the kids, keep ‘em busy and out of the bucket.
• Still wearing gloves, cut around the skin from the carapace (top shell), starting at the neck.
• With skinning pliers and a sharp knife skin the turtle from top to bottom.
• Cut the tail off just behind the bung hole.
• With a sharp knife separate the meat from the shell.
• With a box knife cut the cartilage that holds the backbone to the carapace. Keep the kids out of the bucket.
• Remove the entrails and eggs and discard in the bucket. (If the baby turtles in the eggs are alive, and for some reason you have to take them out of the shells, do not put your finger close to their mouths).
• Cut the meat up by muscle groups (or color).
• Remove as much fat as possible.
Parboil Before Freezing:
• In a large pot of water add salt, peppercorns, onions and carrots, Bring to a boil.
• Simmer until the fat melts off and meat is starting to fall off the bones on the feet.
• Drain and rinse in hot water.
Note:
• If you see the neighbor’s dog running around yelping with a Snapping Turtle head embedded on his bloody nose, you didn’t bury the stuff deep enough.
